Wednesday, May 30, 2007

My slut day

Daddy took a few days off around Memorial Day to relax and recharge, which I'm very happy about, since he greatly enjoyed it. Sadly, only one of those days matched up with my days off (I have to work weekends). On Monday, he told me that I was going to have a "slut day" on Tuesday, the day we had off together. He had said that I was going to spend the day bound on the bed, but we never got around to that.
I slept in a bit, and then he ordered me to suck his cock. I was naked except for my collar. As I started, my hair was in the way, so he told me to stop and go put it in pigtails, which I did, of course. I sucked his cock for 45 minutes to an hour before he rewarded me with a nice load of cum down my throat. I sucked his cock so much throughout the course of the day that my jaw got very sore, and my knees had rug burn. I stopped after the first load of cum, and had breakfast. He then ordered me to come suck him again, and then he fucked me, and later had me suck my own juices off of him. He finished in my ass.
Daddy also later had me put on my slut harness, which really shows off my tits. He pinched and twisted my nipples, and eventually put clamps on them while I sucked him. He strung the chain through the ring on my collar, so that the chain pulled upward on the clamps. During that same blowjob, he took off the clamps and instead beat my back and ass while I sucked on him.
He also had me fuck him while I sat on his lap, giving him a lap dance with his cock inside me. He beat my pussy and tits with his whip, and eventually gave me my favorite thing, a fisting.
He had stopped me while I was sucking him to see how wet I was, and I was very, very wet. He had me turn around and bend over so he could finger me, and I asked if he would fist me later. He said he'd give me a taste, and shoved a few more fingers inside. I was on my hands and knees, doggy style, and he got his whole fist in. Now, I love fisting, but I hadn't had one in months, and usually I need lube. But this time, he got his whole hand in without the lube, he says "practically up to the elbow". It was amazing. I moaned and groaned and even screamed, and wouldn't have been surprised if the cops had come knocking on our door. But it felt so, so, so very good.
Today, my cunt is very sore from the fisting as well as from the beating and the pinching that he gave me. I get wet just thinking about how hard and rough he used me, and I hope we get another intense session like that again soon, only this time with more bondage (and he never did follow through with his threat to beat me until I cried, probably because I fell asleep!). Even when it hurts intensely, I do really love the pain he gives me. I don't like all pain (migraines suck), but having my nipples pinched and twisted, and having my cunt grabbed really hard gets me wet even though it makes me whimper and moan. And I love that it gets him rock hard to see me squirm and moan, and to hear him tell me what a good girl I am when I keep my legs apart during a cunt whipping.
I'm going to go see if Daddy wants a blow job now...

Daily homework

For the past few days, Daddy's had the day off, while I've had to work. He texted me one morning with an order, which is now standing. Every day, twice a day, I'm to excuse myself to the bathroom. While I'm there, I'm to pinch my nipples for twenty seconds and then finger myself until I want to orgasm. When I'm at the cusp of orgasm, I have to stop, lick my fingers clean, and go back to work.
This is delicious homework and just thinking of doing it tomorrow for him turns me on.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Well, that was weird.

Monday night, Daddy and I went to bed, as usual. I was wearing silky nightgown (though usually I sleep nude, I had been wearing it around the apartment so I didn't take off). Daddy told me to take it off and then to undress him. Then he had me go down on him. This is normal. He was talking about what it will be like when we finally find my sister, which is also normal. Occasionally, he interrupted me and pulled me up to snuggle for a bit, and then had me get back to work. That was kind of weird, but whatever. Then he decided to use my pussy, which was actually the second time that day, and that's unusual, but very, very welcome.1 He had me on top, which I actually highly dislike, because it's hard work and I can't get as deep as I like when I'm on top, and I'm afraid that I'll hurt my partner because I like a lot of force, but I don't want to slam down that hard on the poor guy. Anyway, the rule is that I'm not allowed to orgasm without permission, and lately Daddy has taken to ordering to me to orgasm, even when I don't ask. Sometimes though, he orders me to cum and I'm not actually close. While I was on top of him, he ordered me to cum. I did the first time, but I was starting to lose my breath from the movement, and I really, really just wanted him to cum so we could go to sleep. He ordered me to cum again, and I didn't, so he repeated his order. And I just started sobbing. I couldn't cum. Daddy held me and comforted me and I was all right again. He had me roll over on my back so he could keep fucking me. This felt really good, but then, in what I can only assume was an attempt to comfort me, he was whispering in my ear "I love you [my real name]." Normally he calls me "pet" or "princess" or "Evie", but he rarely uses my real name, unless he's trying to make sure that I know he really means what he says. And for whatever reason, hearing him say my name over and over was really distracting/upsetting to me. I asked him to stop, and he said "but it's such a beautiful name for my beautiful girl." He was being incredibly kind, telling me how beautiful and wonderful and special I am, but I really just wanted him to stop saying my name. It was breaking me out of subspace, or something. I've tried to figure out if maybe it's because I associate my full name with being in trouble or something, but it's how I introduce myself to everyone, so I don't think that's it. Maybe it's because I very rarely use names in conversation, and I often find it jarring when someone uses my name in conversation, unless they're trying to get my attention or talking about me.
Eventually he decided to use my ass, and did that, but I was so tired partly just from being tired and partly from all the orgasms he'd ordered me to have, and it hurt, and he wasn't reaching orgasm, so he finally stopped. That made me feel bad, since I wanted to make him cum, but I know that sometimes it's just not possible for men, the same way it's sometimes not possible for women.
After, I had a really hard time falling asleep, I wound up taking a bath to relax. I think part of not being able to sleep was that I'd basically slept all day, since I had the day off.
I had Tuesday off too, so I wound up trying to figure out what the hell happened. I still have no idea.


1. I'm not on birth control for several reasons- I didn't like being on it, I have other medical issues that contra-indicate the use of hormonal birth control, and I have no insurance (though I could get it cheaply from Planned Parenthood). Thus, we have to use condoms, and that's slightly inconvenient, so Daddy prefers to use me in other ways.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Last night, Daddy said to me, "I gave you a collar, but every day you choose to put it on is a gift to me."

Monday, March 19, 2007

Today's horoscope

Today, my horoscope (Cancer) said:
Strive to be less self-indulgent and more service-oriented. What you do for others will come back to you in no time.

I thought that was a great horoscope for a submissive.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

joy in service

When other submissives start going all gushy about how much they love to serve, sometimes I think it seems awfully cheesy, and I wonder if it's true. But now I'm really starting to feel it. I've always been the maternal type, the kind of person who loves to take care of others, though I'm not always good at it. And I never really realized how much of my submissive nature was rooted not only in sexual submission, but in service. I never realized how much peace and happiness I get doing things for the people I love
Daddy works very hard, long hours, and sometimes we don't have much time to play. But I feel such happiness when he says "pet, will you make me a drink please?" and I stop whatever I'm doing to go make him a drink, or fetch his pajamas or run to the store to pick up something we need (or get down on my knees and suck his cock). It helps me feel useful and like I'm doing something to please him, even if he doesn't have the energy to use me. And I also get to take care of him, make his life more pleasant, take away a worry, and that's how I show my love for him. By making him a drink (or doing the laundry, or whatever task), I'm fulfilling my need to take care of someone, and it's wonderful that he lets me do that.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I think I just spent at least 45 minutes giving Daddy head. My jaw is sore, but it was worth it.